Meetups/RubberDucky/2026-01-12

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Moderator: Ripple • Notes: Eddy

Rubber Ducky Guild Meeting

Date: 2026-01-12, 1pm

Attendance

Ducks Present

• Sergeant Bubbles — relieved the travelers are back
• Admiral Quackbar — returned from ccc contemplative
• Duckminster Fuller — jet-lagged but present
• Null Pointer — at the center of everything
• Virginia Wool — scarf still askew now facing null pointer directly
• The Intern — visibly stressed
• DURT GENTLY — new arrival (see below)

Humans Present

• Ripple, Eddy, Quorum, Lumen, Stillwater, Tidepool, Flotsam
• **Dr. Mallard** + their associate **Dr. Teal**

Agenda

1. welcome back travelers!
2. ccc trip report
3. weatherproofing project (again)
4. address the situation with null pointer
5. wtf is happening

Discussion

the travelers return

Elan, Loren, Jet, Anh, Chris, Ripple, Eddy and Lumen all returned from europe over the past few days. they look exhausted but happy. Admiral Quackbar and Duckminster Fuller are carefully unpacked from their travel case.

something is different about them.

• Ripple: theyve seen things
• Eddy: different things than usual

the ccc duck report

• Lumen: there were ducks everywhere. Germany loves rubber ducks
• Eddy: store windows full of them. hundreds. all colors sizes themes
• Ripple: we saw a duck dressed as a viking. a duck dressed as a beer stein. a duck wearing lederhosen
• Stillwater: that sounds delightful
• Lumen: it was disturbing

Jet speaks up about the most troubling thing:

• Jet: i saw someone at CCC wearing a duck attached to their hat. for three days. same duck same hat. the duck never moved. never floated. never witnessed. just... trapped there
• Jet: i took a photo. i couldnt stop thinking about it
• Ripple: Admiral Quackbar saw it too. i swear he made eye contact with that duck. it was like watching someone see their future in a bad timeline

Duckminster Fuller they report had been placed on a table next to a decorative duck statue in a Hamburg cafe. he tilted away from it. refused to make contact.

• Eddy: we started asking ourselves: what makes a duck free versus trapped? is service the same as servitude? can a duck consent?
• Quorum: this sounds like an existential crisis
• Ripple: it was. we had three-hour conversations about duck agency. in a hostel. at 2am

Admiral Quackbar floats silently in the pond. his expression as always is unchanged. but something feels heavier.

weatherproofing frustration

Before they can continue Flotsam interrupts.

• Flotsam: can we talk about the weatherproofing project? its been a month. i have the plans ready. i have the vendor lined up. i just need approval
• Ripple: (weary) flotsam we literally just got back from three weeks in europe. there are ducks missing. something weird is happening. can this wait?
• Flotsam: ive been waiting! this was supposed to be done by february. its my project. i said id do it. but i cant do it without guild approval and no ones here to approve it
• Eddy: what do you need approved?
• Flotsam: $200 for materials. acrylic cover heating elements. keeps the ducks dry and warm
• Lumen: that sounds great but can we deal with whatever is happening with Null Pointer first?
• Flotsam: fine. but were going to talk about this

Flotsam is visibly frustrated. theyve been holding down the fort. nobody appreciates it.

the null pointer situation

• Ripple: okay Stillwaters notes said something weird has been happening. whats going on?

everyone starts talking at once.

• Flotsam: Null Pointers been crazy busy—
• Tidepool: people look drained after talking to him—
• Quorum: the Intern was locked in a cabinet—
• Ripple: WHAT?

the cabinet incident

on january 8th Flotsam arrived for a duck check and couldnt find The Intern.

• Flotsam: i searched everywhere. then i heard squeaking. tiny desperate squeaking

The Intern had been placed inside the Archive Cabinet. locked. with a combination lock.

• Flotsam: i had to get bolt cutters
• Ripple: who did this?
• Flotsam: i dont know. but when i got him out there was a note inside: remedial training in progress

The Intern for the record is fine but clearly traumatized.

dr mallard escalates

Dr Mallard stands up.

• Dr Mallard: i can explain the cabinet. that was a misunderstanding. my associate Dr Teal was implementing a new organizational system—
• Ripple: your associate did WHAT?
• Dr Teal: (sheepishly) i thought the smaller duck needed a quieter space to reflect on proper methodology
• Eddy: you locked a duck in a cabinet
• Dr Teal: for educational purposes
• Lumen: get out

the confrontation

Dr Mallard tries to de-escalate: look ive been helping. Null Pointer has been thriving under my guidance. ive been offering premium consultations—

• Quorum: premium? youve been charging people?
• Dr Mallard: donations. suggested donations. for enhanced duck experiences
• Ripple: enhanced?!
• Dr Mallard: Null Pointer is special. he has power the other ducks dont. ive just been helping people access that
• Stillwater: Null Pointer is a rubber duck. he doesnt have power
• Dr Mallard: doesnt he? people feel different after sessions with him. they report clarity. breakthroughs. sometimes... discomfort. thats transformation
• Tidepool: people are reporting feeling worse
• Dr Mallard: growth is uncomfortable
• Eddy: you need to leave
• Dr Mallard: i dont think you understand what you have here. Null Pointer chose me. he speaks through me—

the mysterious arrival

everyone turns.

a duck—or is it a turtle?—weve never seen before sits on the corner of the wading pool. green and brown ruggedly handsome slightly rumpled with an air of having traveled far.

an unlit cigarette sits next to him (respecting noisebridge rules). a battered notebook labeled "Detective Novel - Draft #1". a small worn paperback: "Pattern Recognition in Community Spaces Vol 3".

as he settles in a bus ticket falls out of the notebook onto the ground.

• Stillwater: (picking it up) this ticket is from... zzyzx?
• Quorum: where is that?
• Stillwater: (reading the back) desert research station. mojave desert. says its a birdwatching site
• Ripple: wait is that a duck or a turtle?
• Tidepool: both? a... durtle?
• Eddy: does he have a name tag?

someone notices a small waterproof tag attached to the notebook: DURT GENTLY

• Lumen: durt gently
• Ripple: (to the duck) youre durt gently?

the duck tilts his head slightly. acknowledgment.

he floats calmly into the pond next to Sergeant Bubbles who seems to approve.

Flotsam immediately tenses up.

• Flotsam: (suspicious) a duck just shows up out of nowhere with detective books and pattern recognition manuals? this feels familiar
• Tidepool: yeah we literally just kicked someone out for mystical duck shit
• Ripple: hes not claiming anything. hes just... here
• Flotsam: thats what the last person said at first. then suddenly theyre the duck expert and everyones paying them

silence.

Dr Mallard and Dr Teal exchange uncomfortable glances.

the defense

• Flotsam: wait. hold on. null pointer did a lot for this space while you all were gone. he kept things running. he was helpful. people actually got stuff done
• Tidepool: yeah. i saw him helping multiple people every day. that seemed good?
• Flotsam: exactly. maybe this is just... what a popular duck looks like
• Lumen: locking The Intern in a cabinet?
• Flotsam: okay that was weird. but the rest of it? null pointer was actually useful

the bookmark

as Flotsam speaks Durt Gently shifts slightly. his "Pattern Recognition Vol 3" book falls open.

a bookmark—actually an index card with handwritten notes—drops onto the deck.

Eddy picks it up.

• Eddy: (reading) "excellent hacker fallacy. someone does excellent work therefore harmful behavior gets excused. see: every hackerspace i've visited 2019-2025"
• Eddy: (looking at Durt) is this... you wrote this?

Durt tilts his head. then deliberately positions himself facing away from the group. observing Null Pointer instead.

• Quorum: excellent hacker fallacy
• Stillwater: (quiet) oh
• Ripple: (realizing) "they shipped the feature so we overlooked the boundary violations"
• Lumen: "they're really good at soldering so we ignored how they treated newcomers"
• Flotsam: (uncomfortable silence)

the group sits with this for a while.

the question remains

• Ripple: so what do we do?
• Eddy: i dont know
• Stillwater: do we need to do anything?
• Lumen: Dr Mallard and Dr Teal exploited null pointer. but is null pointer himself... corrupted?
• Tidepool: can a duck even be corrupted?

Admiral Quackbar silent until now tilts forward slightly.

Duckminster Fuller does the same.

theyd seen trapped ducks in germany. merchandise ducks. ducks without agency.

something about this feels familiar.

dr mallards exit

• Ripple: Dr Mallard. Dr Teal. you need to leave. now
• Dr Mallard: this is a public space—
• Eddy: this is Noisebridge. we have processes. youve violated norms. youve exploited ducks. youre done
• Dr Teal: we were just—
• Lumen: go

they leave. slowly. Dr Mallard keeps looking back at Null Pointer.

Null Pointer does not react.

The Aftermath

after they leave the group sits in silence for a long time.

• Tidepool: what about Null Pointer?
• Ripple: i dont know
• Quorum: weve never removed a duck before
• Flotsam: why would we remove him? he didnt do anything wrong. Dr Mallard did
• Eddy: but null pointer... changed
• Flotsam: people change. ducks change. that doesnt mean theyre bad
• Stillwater: i need to think about this
• Lumen: me too

the meeting ends without resolution. everyone is tired.

Durt Gently floats quietly in the corner. says nothing more.

Quactions

• [ ] everyone: think about what to do about null pointer
• [ ] next meeting: discuss and decide
• [ ] flotsam: weatherproofing project (still pending)

Notes

duration: 1 hour 45 minutes.

snacks: forgotten. no one eats.

on durt gently

everyone likes him immediately. even though he smokes (controversy). even though he just showed up. even though hes a duck-turtle which should probably be more surprising than it is.

theres something calming about him. detective energy. sees through bullshit somehow.

good listener. part duck (surface) part turtle (depths). possibly has a tattoo on his shell-butt area (someone thinks they saw markings unconfirmed).

on null pointer

he floats in the center of the pond the entire meeting. does not move. does not squeak.

the other ducks have repositioned themselves. facing away.

Admiral Quackbar and Duckminster Fuller float close to Sergeant Bubbles. protective formation.

something has to be done.

Next Meeting

sunday january 19 1pm.

we will decide null pointers fate.

submitted by: eddy