Meetups/RubberDucky/2025-02-16

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🦆 Rubber Ducky Guild • Meeting Archive • Template

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Moderator: Ripple • Notes: Ripple

Rubber Ducky Guild Meeting[edit]

Date: 2025-02-16, 1pm

Attendance[edit]

Ducks Present[edit]

  • Sergeant Bubbles
  • Admiral Quackbar
  • Duck Norris (silent now)
  • Duckminster Fuller
  • Null Pointer

Humans Present[edit]

  • Ripple
  • Eddy
  • Quorum
  • Lumen
  • Stillwater
  • Murk

Agenda[edit]

  1. Duck Norris decision
  2. Murk's "Duck Certification Program"
  3. THE CONFRONTATION

Discussion[edit]

Duck Norris:

After a week of reflection, the guild discussed Duck Norris's future.

Options:

  1. Retire him (honorable discharge)
  2. Keep him active (squeakless but still a duck)
  3. Attempt repair (risky, may damage further)

Eddy: "He can still listen. He just can't respond anymore."

Lumen: "Perhaps that makes him more duck-like, not less."

Vote: Keep Duck Norris active for now. Revisit at next census. His silence is not a flaw; it's a transition.

Murk's "Duck Certification Program":

Before we could move on, Murk presented ANOTHER proposal. This one suggested:

  • Three tiers of "Certified Duck Practitioners"
  • Written exams on duck philosophy
  • Practical assessments observed by Duck Keepers
  • Certificates (he mocked some up)

Murk: "This would add legitimacy. People could put it on LinkedIn."

THE CONFRONTATION:

Eddy: "LinkedIn? LINKEDIN? We're a rubber duck guild in a hackerspace. We don't need LINKEDIN CREDENTIALS."

Murk: "I'm trying to help this organization reach its potential—"

Eddy: "It's not an ORGANIZATION. It's a bunch of people who like ducks and sitting quietly!"

Murk: "That's exactly the unstructured thinking that holds groups like this back—"

Eddy: "Groups like WHAT?"

Ripple: "Okay, let's take a breath—"

Eddy: "No. I've been biting my tongue for weeks. Murk, you don't GET it. The point is that there IS no point. The ducks don't need KPIs. WE don't need KPIs. If you want to optimize something, go optimize somewhere else."

Eddy stood up and walked out.

Silence.

Murk: "I don't understand why being professional is so threatening."

Lumen: "Murk, I think we need to have a larger conversation. But not today."

Meeting ended early.

Quactions[edit]

  • [x] Duck Norris — remains active
  • [ ] Check on Eddy (Everyone)
  • [ ] Have "the conversation" with Murk (Leadership)

Notes[edit]

Duration: 34 minutes. Cut short.

First member walkout in guild history. This is a crisis.

Snacks: Untouched.

Next Meeting[edit]

Sunday. If we still have a guild.

Submitted by: Ripple (with heavy heart)

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